Whatever Is Warmer
by Tea Bush
Summary: Shounen-ai. Zell x Seifer. What more can I say? Provide me with some reviews!!! Pls!!! ...Too bad no one ever reads the 'Originals' section...


Warning: Shounen-ai. Don't read if you don't like it.  
Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns all the people... I mean the characters...  
  
  
Whatever Is Warmer...  
  
  
"Is he okay?" Quistis asked, looking suspiciously at Doctor Kadowaki.  
"Yes, he is," the old woman replied. "The crisis had passed, but he still needs a lot of care. Just to make sure this won't happen again."  
Quistis bit her lip, thanked Doctor Kadowaki and exited the infirmary. Zell, Irvine and Selphie were standing outside, waiting impatiently for the news.  
"How's he?" Selphie asked.  
"He is okay but needs more care," Quistis said. "That's what she says..."  
Selphie smiled. "That's good! We'll take care of him!"  
Doctor Kadowaki went out to see them. "You should take him back tomorrow," she mentioned, "for there is too little space in our hospital, and many students require healing, especially after the monster population increase last week."  
They nodded and slowly departed, each thinking of their own.  
  
Doctor Kadowaki returned to infirmary. She found Seifer not asleep, he was sitting on his bed, weary and ill-looking.  
"Your friends will pick you up tomorrow," she said to him in a caring tone.  
"Whatever," he replied, Squall-style. Nothing really mattered to him for the past month. As the time went by, his memories grew even more painful. After the SeeDs' glorious victory over Ultimecia, Seifer made a decision of going back to the Garden and trying again to become a SeeD. It was tough, because, as it seemed to Seifer, no one would even speak to him. He was proven completely wrong: the others had found enough compassion in themselves to accept him. They admitted that he was not really guilty, being mind-controlled and all.  
That only made things worse. Seifer felt that he did not deserve their kindness. The reminders of his past stalked him viciously. After long days of painful thoughts another decision came: he felt he should not live any longer.  
His attempt of suicide failed, because of Irvine, who needed something from him and therefore came to his room to find Seifer barely breathing after taking two bottles of sleeping pills. Irvine took him to the infirmary, where he was brought back to life after three days of coma. Now Seifer neither knew what was going to happen next, nor cared about it.  
  
Next morning knocked on Zell's door. Well, actually it was Quistis, rapping loudly enough to wake Zell from his nap. He shook his head, rushed to the door and opened it widely. "What?" he yelled. "Oh, it's you, Quistis."  
"Good morning Zell," Quistis said. "I just wanted to be sure that you won't forget to go and get Seifer."  
"What?" repeated Zell. "Why? Why me?"  
"Well, Irvine, Selphie and me are sent on a mission," as Quistis answered, Zell wondered if he really noticed a tiny smile on her lips, or not. "And Squall is visiting his father in Esthar with Rinoa. So that's you who is left here."  
Zell wanted to say something but could not invent anything. Quistis smiled, this time rather openly.  
"Bye Zell," she said and left him there, standing in his doorway. Zell found it somehow... unfair.  
  
The evening crept closer, and Zell went to the infirmary to fulfill his destiny. "Why me, for Hyne's sake, why me?" he thought. "Well yes, Seifer had changed and yes, he needs care, but still... why me? We never got on well, even in our childhood! I don't know how to behave..." Thinking so, he reached the infirmary and went in.  
"Hello Doctor Kadowaki," he said.  
"Good evening Zell," the gray-haired woman looked ad him. "I presume you are here to pick up Seifer, yes?"  
"Sort of," Zell mumbled and they proceeded to Seifer's bed. He was sleeping.  
"Wake up," Doctor Kadowaki gently touched Seifer's shoulder. "Zell is here to take you back to your room."  
"Hello Zell," Seifer greeted him.  
"Hi Seifer," Zell replied. "Let's go."  
Seifer sat on his bed, then tried to stand up, but he was too sick. Zell gave him his hand and pulled him up; then he helped him to Seifer's room.  
  
He pus fresh sheets on Seifer's bed and put the taller blonde there. Seifer thanked him in a colorless voice, which appeared in some way frightening to Zell.  
"Come on, man, don't hang your head!" Zell tried to cheer him up, but that was not enough.  
"Whatever," was the answer.  
"Don't say this thing!" Zell demanded. "Even Squall had learned not to repeat thin awful word too often!"  
"Zell," Seifer said quietly, "when do you leave?"  
Zell sighed. "Doctor K. said you need good care, so I guess I'll not go away. I'll be here if you need me," he explained, looking at Seifer curiously. Former Seifer would protest loudly, but current Seifer just said "Oh..." and closed his eyes.  
  
Zell made a place for himself to sleep in the corner of the room, putting some blankets on the floor. Then he turned the lights off.  
"Zell," Seifer said in the darkness.  
"What, Seifer?"  
"...Nothing."  
"Oh come on! If you wanted something, why not just say it?" Zell hated when people said "A" without saying "B" next.  
"Why did *you* stay with me?"  
"Because no one other could, why else," Zell replied. It sounded kind of harshly so he tried to soften it. "I mean that Squall and Rin are seeing Laguna in Esthar, and others are on a mission. So it simply had to be me, you see."  
"Oh," was the answer.  
"Seifer! Please!" Zell said, feeling nervous. "This is not you! Call me 'chicken wuss' or something, will you? I mean, you'd sound more like yourself then."  
"I'm so sorry, Zell," the voice in the darkness said. "Could you ever forgive me for all the things I did?"  
"Th... That's okay, you did nothing wrong, Seifer," Zell mumbled.  
"No, I did. I bullied you, called you names and all... Will you ever be able forgive me?"  
"Sure, I already forgave you," Zell said eagerly, wanting Seifer to feel better. "I don't recall these things anymore."  
"But I have done so much wrong!" Seifer's voice was no longer colorless, he sounded as if he was ready to cry.  
"You have been brain-washed," Zell tried, still someway unsure.  
"It doesn't matter!" Seifer became hysterical. "I can never correct the mistakes I did. Too bad I couldn't kill myself properly."  
"You are talking bullshit," Zell jumped up to Seifer's bed and stood there looking at his dark silhouette. "No one should ever try to kill himself. Life is great and it's plain silly to give it away! There's so much ahead!"  
Seifer was silent, so Zell continued. "There are so many things yet to come!"  
"What things?" Seifer asked. "Success, power, influence? I don't need them."  
Zell thought for a minute. "And what about love?" he asked.  
"It is not possible," Seifer replied faintly.  
Zell, unsure of how to help him, sat on the bed near him and put his hand on Seifer's.  
"It is possible," he declared. "You'll find someone you'll love and this someone will love you too."  
"There is a person I love..." Seifer spoke into the pillows.  
Zell smiled. "Tell me who is it! Maybe I can talk to her!"  
Seifer sighed. "It's not 'her'. This person is not a woman," he voiced sincerely. "See, I am still doing wrong." Zell was silent for some time. Then he spoke.  
"You are not wrong, Seifer. I think love is... how to say it... genderless? Yes, genderless! It doesn't matter whom do you love, it's the love that matters!"  
"You wouldn't be saying so if you knew who it is," Seifer whispered.  
"So tell me," Zell inquired. Seifer kept silence. Zell impatiently shook his head. "Oh man, come on, tell me!"  
"It's you," Seifer said.  
Zell sat, awed. "Really?" he asked, not believing his ears.  
Seifer mumbled something uninterpretable and hid his hands under the pillow. He already regretted being sincere. "Say something," he demanded. "Say that's funny, say I'm an idiot, come on! Say it!"  
Zell said nothing. That was probably the first time he did not immediately express his emotions. Seifer... in love... with him? That was so improbable and yet so strangely soothing.  
Seifer drew a deep breath. "I'm cold," he said at last. "If you are here to take care of me, please give me an extra sweater or something."  
Three seconds later he understood Zell wasn't going to give him a sweater, because he felt Zell slipping into his bed and putting his arms around him.  
"Is this warmer?" Zell asked, shy and daring at the same time.  
It was Seifer's turn to loose his words. But you know, our actions always speak louder.  
  
---  
  
Seifer: Are you proud of what you have done?  
Author: Definitely. I always wanted to write a 'Zellfer'.  
Zell: Yeah, we're such a great couple!  
Author: You look good together.  
Irvine: How came you wrote about Seifer, Squall and Zell, but not about me? I want a pairing, too!!!  
Author: Patience, Irvy, patience...  
My Friend Mike: I am tired of this yaoi stuff! And FF8 irritates me! //spots some FF8 girls// Then again, maybe I can swallow more of it if you do a nice yuri... //FF8 girls flee in terror//  
Author: Patience, Mike, patience... ~_~  
NC-17 fans: We want GRAPEFRUIT! Erm... Oops... We meant LEMON!!!  
Author: //smirks// We'll see about that.  
  
---  
  
Dedicated to all my reviewers and my friend Mike, who doesn't really like yaoi but still always helps me with my works. Thank you!  
  
Well, how was it? Does this suck? Or do you want more? Tell me please, your opinion means a lot to me. ;-) 


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